We are all looking for a better and more fulfilling life, but did you ever try to articulate that better life in any way?
Many think happiness or success means chasing dreams and goals. Engaging in this process is often seen as the way life should move forward. What it really offers, however, is an endless marathon where you keep chasing without ever arriving. You can have your dreams and goals. There’s nothing wrong with that but they should not be the compass that drives your life’s spirit.
Many give mental health advice to youngsters such as, “Stay busy with a dream so you’ll be active, pursue achievements, and eventually find happiness or success.” Of course, our energy should be allowed to flow, but the driving force should come from our presence and consciousness.
The Lizard Mind Trap — Always Chasing, Never Arriving
Human evolution left us with a lizard mind — wired to chase, not to rest. In today’s achievement-driven society, this pattern continues. Most human struggles, burnout, stress, and relationship crises come from how we use our inner compass. Our lack of clarity, purpose, natural healing process, and deeper connections are all fading away in this endless chase. When I pursued a career switch with a long learning curve, I too experienced this satisfaction. Long solitary dives to finish academic milestones and climb the career ladder can give us short bursts of happiness or pride in our capability. But our inner compass in life should not be striving to chase dreams and goals. It can be part of life, but should not be the compass to define our destiny.
Its a time to change our compass
Most of today’s suffering comes from the way we view success and happiness. When we cannot achieve our goals and dreams, we think, “I’m not capable, not the best, not smart enough.”. And this cycle repeating through our children. We afraid peer pressure and worry about our children will go odd on the competition horse race. When we use the same goal-chasing approach in finding relationships, the same suffering happens. Because we only know how to get benefit from it — seeing things from our own angle rather than loving the partner, supporting them in vulnerability instead of criticizing. Many today struggle with deeper connections because relationships don’t fit into the blocks of goals we set in our lists. Our lens no longer sees connections in a human or authentic way.
I remember when I was around 15 , after Sunday Mass, I was sitting at home waiting for my mother to come and open the door. One of my distant uncles came to me and started talking. This uncle had four children, all above 20 at that time. After his retirement, he started an agricultural farm and began his dream life. Personally, he always carried a smile and was a good person. But that day, he came to me crying, talking about his pain within the family. He spoke to me for about ten minutes through his tears. When my mother came home, he wiped his eyes and slowly walked away. From the outside, he might have seemed successful — retired from a reputed position, children in good colleges, land with farming in retirement. But inside, he carried a loneliness. He didn’t have a kind heart to listen to him, or maybe he had forgotten to make deeper family connections while chasing his so-called successful life or he might be given how to chase dreams and goals but forgot to show empathy, kindness and value on relationships.
His story isn’t unique. In my journey of writing, I’ve spent hours in many open food courts (hawker centres) and coffee shops — mornings and nights — among crowded streets with multicultural exposure in Singapore. I see the same hollowness in people’s eyes, in their coping mechanisms with alcohol or chasing casual connections. This restless chasing with the wrong inner compass takes a toll on their mental health, sleep, and eventually leads to an ungrateful lived experience filled with lot of regrets and gilt about past actions.
Which Inner Compass to Use for a “Better” Life
Our inner compass should help us wander through this world and still find our way back — not lose ourselves along the way.
- Our journey itself should offer calmness and peace.
- It should help us deepen our sensations and honour our feelings and emotions.
- It should bring satisfaction, fulfillment, and a steady awareness of how to process our experiences — blending them with knowledge and leading to transformation.
- It should help us consciously reclaim our energy from attention-stealing distractions and use it wisely for what truly matters.
- Our inner compass should have the strength to lead us toward intentional living and spiritual growth.
- It should guide us to live in the present moment rather than chase distant dreams.
Art Of Living
Living in the present is an art of life. You may think it’s an easy path and that everyone knows about it, but to experience the depth of presence described above is not easy. It’s more of a transformation into awareness — a quiet rebellion against the world’s flow. The way you see, experience, process, and engage will all shift into a new reality. This is the right and promising path to life fulfillment, inner joy, spiritual growth and the true unlocking of wisdom if you are a seeker of truth in life. This is the true way to fill the dots to achieve profound life experience.
If you want to become a role model husband or wife, a visionary leader, a strategic thinker — if you seek clarity in thought and ideas, blossoming creativity, inner growth, and deeper connections — then you must transform into this awareness of living mindfully in the present moment. That should be your compass in life.
Then you’ll begin to find your own rhythm, just as every creature and tree follows its natural pace. If you gain the wisdom to accept the invitation of slow living, your first step is to learn how to live in the present moment. I will share a series of articles about it. But if you have any interesting questions or challenges blocking you from accepting this invitation, please comment so I can address your concerns more deeply and help you find your unique way into slow living.