We have seen many parents discouraging children from asking questions. We worry that curiosity makes them more likely to rebel against systems, culture and values. We fear that questioning will lead them down the wrong path. Some parents are afraid their children might become lone wolves, or that they will step away from the “settled life” without even trying for real growth experiences.
Many believe that questioning or taking a critical approach is a sign of disloyalty or a threat to unity within the system. Society, too, has rarely rewarded critical or logical thinking. What has been valued most is efficiency and academic performance, so we often measure growth mindset only through that narrow lens.
But there is another area of growth that remains unopened — an area many parents avoid, yet it is where real transformation lies. When our children seem to have everything but still fall into loneliness, drugs, or relationship crises, or when they face deep personal struggles, we often only put our hands on our heads in despair.
Teaching Children That Curiosity Is Sacred
In Jewish culture, argument and questioning have long been part of learning — especially in the traditional study of the Torah and Talmud. In secular Jewish communities, questioning often stretches wider into science, philosophy, and culture.
Not every Jewish person grows up with the same exposure, but the cultural habit of dialogue and debate runs deep. It has shaped Jewish contributions far beyond religion — into arts, science, philosophy, politics, and business. This debate, arguing, and critical approach has been encouraged for centuries in Judaism.
Yet, when it comes to our own children, we are often the ones closing the door on their mindful and spiritual growth. Curiosity gets suppressed early, teaching them that asking questions or choosing a different path will only bring friction, struggle, and resistance. Over time, they stop asking — and later hand the same silence and fear to their own children, and the cycle repeats.
If we encourage our children to explore other cultures with openness rather than prejudice, to understand how traditions and values have evolved, and to recognize what is beautiful within each heritage, their worldview will expand and grow more humble. Instead of focusing only on disagreements or flaws, we can guide them to notice the bright side of cultures. This shift is especially important today, when much social unrest around migration and integration stems from a breakdown of cultural understanding and shared human fabric. While we root our children in values and grounded rituals, giving them a wider lens to see from others’ perspectives can be a true game changer in their growth. Too often, ultra-nationalism and radical belief systems emerge precisely from narrow worldviews and failed cultural integration.
One time, when I took my children to a play area, a four-year-old Japanese boy came up to me, pressed his palms together, and greeted me with “Namaste.” I was surprised and touched that he had learned about Indian greetings at such a young age. It reminded me that children often absorb cultural openness and respect for others directly from their homes. When we give respect, we also earn it. But when children are raised with a narrower lens, they may begin to think that receiving respect makes them superior. Our role is to guide them differently — to help them grow in the right way, with humility and genuine respect for everyone.
In another situation, when I brought my daughter to a kindergarten for admission, an innocent five-year-old girl looked at her and said, “I don’t like Indians.” Children are very innocent, yet they often reflect what they hear from their parents and religious teachers. As parents, it is our responsibility to give them a broader lens — to help them love everyone.
Childhood Fears and Hidden Curiosity
Many parents believe that critical thinking leads children to lose values, lose faith, or lose trust in God. I experienced this myself.
When I once asked my mother about the “satanic church,” she told me not to look it up, warning that I might be drawn toward it. For years, that fear lived in me. But when I finally searched about it on the Internet, the fear dissolved like a bubble.
The same happened with reading. In my middle age, during a storm of personal crisis, I took a four-year break from believing in God. My parents worried and told me not to think or read too much. Yet, it was this very critical and logical thinking that later helped me rediscover a bigger God-concept — one that transformed me into a life explorer and set me on a mission of slow living.
The Role of Parents
Children’s questions should never scare us. In fact, we should encourage them. If we don’t know the answers, we can admit it honestly and explore the answers together. Let curiosity breathe in family life instead of escaping from it or suppressing it.
Let their curiosity grow. Give them stimulation to explore and to improve their openness and perceptions. Let their world view expand to embrace the whole of humanity. Take them to art and cultural festivals. If you live in a multicultural society, discuss how values are seen through the moral lens of different cultures. Encourage them to build friendships across cultures and races, and invite them to share those experiences at home. This will make children more expressive and open within the family.
Today, many parents are struggling because their children spend most of their time with headsets on, and parents feel clueless about how to engage or cultivate deeper connection. Introduce new books, Give courage for them to learn and unlearn. Debate it. Add new perspectives to their growth path. Let them explore both their inner and outer worlds with freedom, without fear or control. In this way, they know how to get clarity on their intuition, and trust to believe on it and courageously live with what truly matters.
👉 In the next article, I’ll share practical ways parents can cultivate logical and critical thinking at home, turning curiosity into a daily family culture.